Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Floor bacon is actually really good
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
