He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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