All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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