I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
