google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
how does that bad decision feel?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
