I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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