i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
