I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
