I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize