Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
