Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize