All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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