found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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