i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
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