I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
