I think my fart just growled at me.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
