Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
