U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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