I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
