You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
