i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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