i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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