Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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