i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
