"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
