So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
