and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
