11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I looked at my own cervix.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Another day, another engagement, another cat
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Randomize
