guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
