have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize