he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Randomize
