Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
