Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize