so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
