Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
