I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
