At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
