I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
