That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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