weddingsv make me drug and hornr
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
