It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
