I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Randomize
