I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
