Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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