So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
