***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
