I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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