so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
