Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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