So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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