"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
they need to just BURY HIM!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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