sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
