SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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