Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
