Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
