Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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