You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
