Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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