I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
