if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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