Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
