girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Randomize
