so that wasnt chicken after all
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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