Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
When are your genitals available?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
