I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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