Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you mean i was at the winter classic?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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