Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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