How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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