New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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