Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
